Thank you for reading along as I shared the most important things I have learned in the last 25 years. It has been quite a journey getting here and quite a journey looking back. Every one of these points came from my own life experiences from travelling, relationships, good times, not so good times and everything else that makes up the web of my life.
This last piece of advice has been so important and life changing for me I felt it needed to stand alone and not be lost among fourteen other points. It came into my life when I was 29 and it has changed every relationship I have and made me rethink so many experiences. I hope it will do the same for you.
76. Change your language from 'They did that to me' to 'They did that'. Refuse to own someone else's bad behaviour.
Think about how many times you have said 'I can't believe he/she did that TO ME' or 'How can you do this TO ME?' and adjust your language. You will soon be able to let so many things go when you take the arrogance out of what other people do and you refuse to own what they are doing. When you accept that people do things yet you dont need to participate or make it about yourself, you will realise how easy it is let it go, walk away and live a happy life.
"When you think everything is someone else´s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy. Pride leads to violence and evil. The truly good gaze upon everything with love and understanding" ~The Dalai Lama
Have a fabulous day!
Showing posts with label advice for my fourteen year old self. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice for my fourteen year old self. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Advice for my 14 year old self - Part 4
Thank you for all of the wonderful comments on this series. I have has such a amazing time looking back and reflecting on my life so far! My plan is the finish the series tomorrow with one last point but since life is a journey I dont want to say it is 100% finished. I am sure I will revisit and add to this list from time to time.
I'm not sure if I have a book in me...I know there is a book with this sort of advice for boys - goodness knows there must be thousands already in the book stores for girls. Who knows, maybe we will see this in print someday.
I love the idea of adding a button to easily link to the list! Once I figure out how to do that I will get it done! Thank you Trish!
I am happy to email the list in a word doc to anyone who wants it.
To answer a question in today's comments - No, I did not find these online, they are all things I have learned in my life that I would love to have been told when I was 14 - I wrote the list myself (and the list is my property and I can afford big bad lawyers so dont think about printing it yourself and selling it). I might not have taken the advice, but put in certain situations I would've remembered it.
So...without further ado...here is today's installment...
46. Shoveling the steps and cleaning off the car IS romantic and chivalrous.
47. Take the compliment with grace and say thank you. Too much modesty is boring
48. Say ‘Yes’ as much as possible
49. Tip the diner waitress generously…regardless, she WILL remember you the next time you come in
50. Learn how to tie a scarf and invest in your accessories. Inexpensive clothes can look great with the right accoutrement
51. Even if there is just the slightest chance you were wrong…say sorry – it will diffuse the situation
52. Spend less time looking for the right one and more time being the right one
53. Be grateful for every single thing. The good, the bad and the ugly. We get what we deserve and must be thankful for all of it
54. Get Vitamin D. Lots of it. It is the number 1 preventative measure you can take. See #41 before you disagree
55. Own a dog. Even on your darkest days you will have a reason to get out of bed and they will love you no matter what you think of yourself
56. Always keep your own identity. Don’t be just someone’s wife or someone’s mom. Have something in your life where you are only known by your own name, be it a job, volunteering, a sport or anything else not related to your family
57. Keep a LBD in your closet that fits, is clean and ready to wear at all times
58. Make eye contact with the cashier
59. Don’t be surprised if the guy who believes in modern gender roles (going Dutch etc) buys earplugs while you are up all night with a crying baby. Don’t feel you need to be his equal. You aren’t. He isn’t your equal either. See # 46
60. It is very hard to respect someone who doesn’t have respect for themself
Have a fabulous day!
I'm not sure if I have a book in me...I know there is a book with this sort of advice for boys - goodness knows there must be thousands already in the book stores for girls. Who knows, maybe we will see this in print someday.
I love the idea of adding a button to easily link to the list! Once I figure out how to do that I will get it done! Thank you Trish!
I am happy to email the list in a word doc to anyone who wants it.
To answer a question in today's comments - No, I did not find these online, they are all things I have learned in my life that I would love to have been told when I was 14 - I wrote the list myself (and the list is my property and I can afford big bad lawyers so dont think about printing it yourself and selling it). I might not have taken the advice, but put in certain situations I would've remembered it.
So...without further ado...here is today's installment...
46. Shoveling the steps and cleaning off the car IS romantic and chivalrous.
47. Take the compliment with grace and say thank you. Too much modesty is boring
48. Say ‘Yes’ as much as possible
49. Tip the diner waitress generously…regardless, she WILL remember you the next time you come in
50. Learn how to tie a scarf and invest in your accessories. Inexpensive clothes can look great with the right accoutrement
51. Even if there is just the slightest chance you were wrong…say sorry – it will diffuse the situation
52. Spend less time looking for the right one and more time being the right one
53. Be grateful for every single thing. The good, the bad and the ugly. We get what we deserve and must be thankful for all of it
54. Get Vitamin D. Lots of it. It is the number 1 preventative measure you can take. See #41 before you disagree
55. Own a dog. Even on your darkest days you will have a reason to get out of bed and they will love you no matter what you think of yourself
56. Always keep your own identity. Don’t be just someone’s wife or someone’s mom. Have something in your life where you are only known by your own name, be it a job, volunteering, a sport or anything else not related to your family
57. Keep a LBD in your closet that fits, is clean and ready to wear at all times
58. Make eye contact with the cashier
59. Don’t be surprised if the guy who believes in modern gender roles (going Dutch etc) buys earplugs while you are up all night with a crying baby. Don’t feel you need to be his equal. You aren’t. He isn’t your equal either. See # 46
60. It is very hard to respect someone who doesn’t have respect for themself
Have a fabulous day!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Advice for my 14 year old self - Part 3
As I was writing this list there was a small part of me thinking....gawd I sound so arrogant. Your comments have been inspiring and overwhelming!
If you would like the complete list, please email me and I will send it to you when I have finished the series.
Thank you to everyone who has forwarded my posts - I am deeply touched you think my little thoughts are worthy of being read twice.
Now, on with part 3!
31. Finish everything you want to do before the babies come
32. Get in front of the camera more often – even if it means losing 20lbs and wearing makeup more often
33. Read Men Are From Mars, Women are from Venus. Learn how to relate to men as men and don’t confuse them with your girlfriends
34. Take advice about men from men. Take advice about fashion from women willing to let you know you have something in your teeth – these women will tell you if something makes your a$$ look fat
35. Be the kind of spouse you want even if your spouse isn’t. Lead by example
36. Don’t be a hypocrite
37. Forget about being yourself. Be who you want to be (Thank you Julia Sugarbaker)
38. Eat veggies every day – antioxidants keep your skin looking young
39. Moisturize
40. Laugh lines are more attractive than Botox – so go ahead and laugh a lot
41. Consider the source – when reading about medical studies, find out who funded them
42. Go. You might meet someone
43. Read ‘The Rules’. Before you think it is old fashioned, keep in mind...men have not evolved very much in the last few thousand years.
44. Carry a cotton handkerchief (Guys, carry two, one for you, one for her)
45. Give. Time, money, energy, love, affection....just give
Have a fabulous day!
If you would like the complete list, please email me and I will send it to you when I have finished the series.
Thank you to everyone who has forwarded my posts - I am deeply touched you think my little thoughts are worthy of being read twice.
Now, on with part 3!
31. Finish everything you want to do before the babies come
32. Get in front of the camera more often – even if it means losing 20lbs and wearing makeup more often
33. Read Men Are From Mars, Women are from Venus. Learn how to relate to men as men and don’t confuse them with your girlfriends
34. Take advice about men from men. Take advice about fashion from women willing to let you know you have something in your teeth – these women will tell you if something makes your a$$ look fat
35. Be the kind of spouse you want even if your spouse isn’t. Lead by example
36. Don’t be a hypocrite
37. Forget about being yourself. Be who you want to be (Thank you Julia Sugarbaker)
38. Eat veggies every day – antioxidants keep your skin looking young
39. Moisturize
40. Laugh lines are more attractive than Botox – so go ahead and laugh a lot
41. Consider the source – when reading about medical studies, find out who funded them
42. Go. You might meet someone
43. Read ‘The Rules’. Before you think it is old fashioned, keep in mind...men have not evolved very much in the last few thousand years.
44. Carry a cotton handkerchief (Guys, carry two, one for you, one for her)
45. Give. Time, money, energy, love, affection....just give
Have a fabulous day!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Advice for my 14 year old self - Part 2
This is part 3 of a series reflecting on my life 25 years ago - please read this post and then this post to start from the beginning.
Thank you for all of the wonderful comments on the first part of this list!
I stand by my 'wait til 30' suggestion - please remember, this is advice to a 14 year old. I realise lots of people get married young and have wonderful relationships but most *I* have known often tell me they regret that they did not travel, have more fun, date more, do more, be more before getting married. This is why I would tell a 14 year old girl to wait until she is 30 to even think about it. So to add to that point...'Do everything you would be jealous of before it is too late'.
Today is the second part of my list...
16. Keep your passport up to date
17. Learn how to use a knife and fork properly – opportunities in your life might just hinge on your table manners
18. Talk to everyone, you just never know who you will meet and who they might know
19. If your way isn’t working, try another way. Don’t reject ideas even if they feel awkward
20. When deciding on a tattoo, ask yourself if this is something that might look trashy with your wedding dress
21. Don’t lose sight of what the argument is about – if you are yelling and can’t remember why, walk away
22. Put less stock in what other people think of you – no one cares or will remember you tooted in yoga class
23. Stand up straight – slouching makes you look defeated
24. When you see a mom struggling with a crying child and a cart full of groceries, offer to put the bags in her car while she tends to her child – you will be there someday and will appreciate help more than judgment
25. Take risks – as long as you don’t lose your life or a limb you will gain a lot
26. Don’t listen to people who tell you they are trying to stop you from making a mistake. Make the mistakes.
27. Write thank you notes. By hand. With a pen.
28. Master the art of mingling
29. Club soda with lime looks just like a G&T and wont cause you to make an a$$ of yourself
30. Learn how to make 5 fabulous desserts – no one will remember what you served for dinner but they will remember dessert
Have a fabulous day!
Thank you for all of the wonderful comments on the first part of this list!
I stand by my 'wait til 30' suggestion - please remember, this is advice to a 14 year old. I realise lots of people get married young and have wonderful relationships but most *I* have known often tell me they regret that they did not travel, have more fun, date more, do more, be more before getting married. This is why I would tell a 14 year old girl to wait until she is 30 to even think about it. So to add to that point...'Do everything you would be jealous of before it is too late'.
Today is the second part of my list...
16. Keep your passport up to date
17. Learn how to use a knife and fork properly – opportunities in your life might just hinge on your table manners
18. Talk to everyone, you just never know who you will meet and who they might know
19. If your way isn’t working, try another way. Don’t reject ideas even if they feel awkward
20. When deciding on a tattoo, ask yourself if this is something that might look trashy with your wedding dress
21. Don’t lose sight of what the argument is about – if you are yelling and can’t remember why, walk away
22. Put less stock in what other people think of you – no one cares or will remember you tooted in yoga class
23. Stand up straight – slouching makes you look defeated
24. When you see a mom struggling with a crying child and a cart full of groceries, offer to put the bags in her car while she tends to her child – you will be there someday and will appreciate help more than judgment
25. Take risks – as long as you don’t lose your life or a limb you will gain a lot
26. Don’t listen to people who tell you they are trying to stop you from making a mistake. Make the mistakes.
27. Write thank you notes. By hand. With a pen.
28. Master the art of mingling
29. Club soda with lime looks just like a G&T and wont cause you to make an a$$ of yourself
30. Learn how to make 5 fabulous desserts – no one will remember what you served for dinner but they will remember dessert
Have a fabulous day!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Advice for my 14 year old self...
Yesterday's post led me to the next few posts so you might want to read it so you get the full effect.
I decided to write a list of important things I have learned or would like to have been told - hindsight is always 20/20! I broke the list into a few posts so the series is 3 or 4 days long. When I read over the list I realised so many of my points were based on relationships - I guess that makes sense as what would life be without them? I could've used this advice at 20 as well! And 25...30...
1. Women are powerful – it’s ok to use that power but don’t use it as a weapon
2. Pay in cash
3. Date a lot…a lot. You will need to get to know a lot of men before you really know the qualities you want and need in a man
4. Before you get married, find out if he would get up in the middle of the night with a crying baby or change a diaper
5. Learn a little bit about a lot of things
6. Travel. Travel alone at least once
7. Wait until after 30 to get married – just have lots of fun until then
8. Don’t take life so seriously
9. Don’t marry for love – don’t marry solely for love. There are so many other important things your marriage will need. Love is the icing on the cake
10. Its ok to have it all…its also ok to not want it all
11. If someone isn’t adding value to your life, let them go - fast
12. Be humble – in the end, no one has kept score
13. Social grace will always be more important than money
14. Date at least one ‘older man’
15. Be the kind of woman the kind of man you want, wants
Have a fabulous day!
I decided to write a list of important things I have learned or would like to have been told - hindsight is always 20/20! I broke the list into a few posts so the series is 3 or 4 days long. When I read over the list I realised so many of my points were based on relationships - I guess that makes sense as what would life be without them? I could've used this advice at 20 as well! And 25...30...
1. Women are powerful – it’s ok to use that power but don’t use it as a weapon
2. Pay in cash
3. Date a lot…a lot. You will need to get to know a lot of men before you really know the qualities you want and need in a man
4. Before you get married, find out if he would get up in the middle of the night with a crying baby or change a diaper
5. Learn a little bit about a lot of things
6. Travel. Travel alone at least once
7. Wait until after 30 to get married – just have lots of fun until then
8. Don’t take life so seriously
9. Don’t marry for love – don’t marry solely for love. There are so many other important things your marriage will need. Love is the icing on the cake
10. Its ok to have it all…its also ok to not want it all
11. If someone isn’t adding value to your life, let them go - fast
12. Be humble – in the end, no one has kept score
13. Social grace will always be more important than money
14. Date at least one ‘older man’
15. Be the kind of woman the kind of man you want, wants
Have a fabulous day!
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