Friday's Random Thoughts

Happy Friday!  I had a very busy week and will be spending all day today dealing with all the little things I need to take care of to get us back on track!

- I have already bought a Christmas present.  For the same person I bought for in the summer last year!  I have also picked out a few other things I know they would love which puts this person a the top of my 'Easiest To Shop For' list!

- It's amazing where life has taken me...suddenly I am very interested in what the top toys are for Christmas this year and making sure I get them now before I have to fight a pack of wild, last minute moms at the mall.  I used to feel this way about shoes.  Okay, I still do...but who knew a toy would be so important!  I called Tarjay, had them put the toy at customer service and then called my mom, who was in Florida at the time, and told her to go get it for me.  She said she was told Tarjay doesn't normally do that sort of thing so I must be quite persuasive!

- Thanksgiving was a success!  Thank you all for the warm holiday wishes!  I managed to get a few photos so I will post them soon!

-We had a provincial election here - the Liberals won again but this time with a minority government.  They wont 53 seats and the other two parties won 54 seats combined.  This means they can vote together to outnumber the Liberal government.  We had this on a federal level for quite a long time and they Governor General approved the dissolution of the government a couple of times and finally the ruling party won the majority and now things can be accomplished!

- I am planning to attend the Rotary conference in 2 weeks.  I wasn't going to go because I just wanted to go for one day but it's 3 or 4 hours away but...one of our members has a private plane.  Mmm hmm.  I will be flown there and back.  Just the way life is meant to be!  I was born for this!

- The divorcing neighbours are at it again.  The police were there one day this week and MrsDivorce was sitting in her car sobbing.  It was noonish so I went over to see if she wanted me to take her kids and give them lunch...no one heard or saw me walking up (not that I was trying to be stealthy wearing a hot pink polo shirt) so I heard the police telling her 'It will get easier' which makes me think MrDivorce called the police this time to get her to leave.  I know they let their housekeeper go...and MrDivorce was seen taking photos of his car like he was selling it or something.  The plot thickens. 

- The Little Prince still comes up with wacky sayings...this week he has been prancing about the house like he is riding a horse yelling 'Yippee-ky-yay!'  Errrrrr, ok little one!

- I finally finished reading The Help and loved it!  I thought the end was perfect!

- We are invited to a wedding tomorrow and I have no desire to go.  It's 3 hours away and the bride has had nothing to do with me for the entire relationship she has had with my friend.  She got pregnant 5 minutes into their dating life which happens, but she is a nurse and 40 years old so she has a clue about where babies come from.  Also, what woman in this day and age has $ex with a man without any protection all the while telling him she cant get pregnant???  Oh right, a man trapper.  Anyhoo, I suspect she hasn't wanted him speaking much to me as the only time I ever hear from him is when she is at work or if he is driving somewhere.  I sent them a present when their baby was born and she didn't even say a word to me.  I got a texted thank you from him so I am thinking they will get a texted 'Best Wishes' from me tomorrow.  It's not like we were planning on staying for the dinner (which is 5 hours after the ceremony!!) and 6 hours on the road seems like a lot for a wedding ceremony. 

- Is texted the correct past tense of text?


Have a fabulous day!

Where are all the gentlemen?

Suburban Princess:  A lot of the bloggers and other women I know are wondering where all the gentlemen are...

Suburban Prince:  The gentlemen are wondering where all the ladies are.


Hmmm excellent point handsome husband!

He does raise a good point...so many women think men should be gentlemen but never ask themselves if they are worthy of being treated like a lady.  I don't mean a capable, strong, self-sufficient woman...I mean a lady...Lady.

Now, I do know many will argue that all members of the female persuasion should be treated like a lady and yes, I agree but you also must understand how hard it is for men today to navigate the female mind and walk the tightrope between doormat and offensive.  How does a gentleman today know he isn't going to be told off for getting a door?  A chair?  The bill?

In my book I give a few pieces of advice about relationships and perhaps the one I repeat on a daily basis more than any other is...

15. Be the kind of woman the kind of man you want, wants.

In other words, if you want a gentleman, be the kind of woman a gentleman wants and appreciates.  Gentlemen enjoy women who make them feel manly so even though you know you are capable of changing a tire, opening jars and hanging pictures it pays off in the end to be a lady and let him be a gentleman.  You really can't go through life as a don't-call-me-dollface-in-the-boardroom-I-can-pay-for-my-own-dinner-don't-even-think-of-getting-the-car-door kind of woman and still expect to attract the kind of man who will treat you like a lady without a second thought.  Sure he will treat you like a lady but odds are he isn't going to be attracted to you in the way you might want.  I have been known to stand there waiting until my date opened the car door for me and if he didn't or made a fuss, rolled his eyes or any other less than savory response the date was over before it began.  I wasn't going to waste my time with someone who wouldn't take the opportunity to recognize a lady and respond as a gentleman.  There's your test.

I look around at the young men I know and I just shake my head and wonder how on earth they get any girl to go out with them!  Most are bums, unemployed, no ambition, no motivation to improve themselves or their lives and still, they have girlfriends, bedmates and more.  Why do so many young women today have such low standards?  Call me picky but when I was single I wasn't even going to consider drinks with anyone who didn't make a certain amount, have a certain lifestyle and like certain things.  There were no shortage of single men who fit the bill and they were happy to date me because I fit their bill.  I wasn't wearing jammies to the grocery store, I don't own a 'good' hoody for special occasions, I educated myself on table manners, etiquette and proper behaviour.  I was told over and over by men that 'classy dames' are few and far between...and this was more than 15 years ago!  I look around today and wonder if there are any left at all!

I have never understood why women go to other women for advice about men - it doesn't make sense to go to someone who doesn't know a thing about what men are thinking.  Everything I know about men I learned from men.  I knew I needed to know what men think about this issue so, I went to the source...

From Mr Toad: 

Many, if not most men, are simply jerks.  Over reaction to the lives our parents led has created a bunch of pompous, self important, spoiled jerks, at least in the professional classes.  The world would be better off without 'em.

Women have lowered their standards of acceptable conduct and have become too tolerant of man's foibles.  Several well placed directives, delivered early, would nip a lot of the nonsense in the bud, or at least cut a girls losses. If a man is not trainable or at least re-trainable he's no good for anyone.  

For better or worse, most gentlemen are created, by women 

Neither men nor women come pre-programmed to be their best selves, as Oprah would say.  The qualities a gentleperson exhibits are habits, learned most probably at mother's knee, and reinforced by mother daily until the end of her life, later by those they associate with.  People (men?) if left alone are essentially lazy and would prefer to backslide rather than do the necessary work required to hold themselves to higher standard than their peers. 

IMHO many young women forgot(never learned) how to insist that they be treated with dignity and respect, hence they accepted less of themselves, and frankly got less.  What was then lost was the ability to pass on the skills, ability, habits, qualities of a gentleman or woman (lady) to their children. The viscous cycle began.

Clearly feminism has played a role.  Look at the role models.  Any woman on television who plays the role  her grandmother assumed was her rightful place is (stay at home mom, caregiver, near servant to her husband) is derided.  Feminism also killed manners.  Other than my house when was the last time you saw men regularly holding car doors, building doors, saying please, yes ma'am, etc? The awful 80's put paid to everyday courtesies.  We are none the better for that.

A woman should always be a lady, regardless of the situation.  Snookihood is never an option.

Another of my favourite male bloggers, James of Man of the 50's says....

This is a complex problem to say the least. I think your husband is right on  one account. A lot of what makes a gentleman behave as such is to respond to graces of a lady. Today young people aren't being taught social graces or even basic social skills. I think in my youth Fathers taught by example, while Mothers were the ones who "took you to school" on these issues. 

A slap on the back of the head and a stern "A gentleman wouldn't look!" taught me to respect a lady's privacy. Now photos appear daily on the internet proving no one taught that young girl how to exit a vehicle like a lady or that man with a camera that a gentleman wouldn't look. 

I know a lot is said about low self esteem for girls and that leads young men to treat them badly. Talk is nice, but there comes a time to correct bad behavior for both sexes. My Mother used to tell my sisters and their friends," Don't dress like you are giving the boy a head start". If you are going to look like a hooker, don't be surprised if you're  treated like one. 

It seems more mothers today mollycoddle their sons and Dad just gets another beer and turns NASCAR on. Fathers should treat their own wives and daughters like ladies so Junior gets the idea young.

So there you have it!  We as women need to insist on men being gentlemen. And we must insist on being ladies.  Gentlemen are part, if not all, chauvanists.  Now dont get all bent out of shape about the word - if you want a gentleman, accept a little bit of chauvanism because when men started being afraid of being labeled that way and women insisted on getting their own drinks, chivalry went out the window.  For heaven's sake ladies, learn how to be gracious and let a man get the door, your chair, the bill.  I know a lot of feminists...they are all men.  It's their handy way of getting out of having to do anything and honestly...feminism is code for 'the women do ALL of the work'.


It is the personality of the mistress that the home expresses.  Men are forever guests in our homes, no matter how much happiness they may find there.  ~ Elsie de Wolfe


Have a fabulous day!

Why men cant find their pants

Dont miss my birthday giveaway!


Okie ladies...I am going to blow the roof off a problem we all have and give out some relationship advice...


Men cant find anything without us getting up and pointing to it for them. 
 
While at lunch the other day with a friend we shall call Curly, this came up and she said she gets so annoyed when her husband stands in the pantry and cant find the snack he wants.  I know the feeling, listening to someone look for something that is right in front of their face is maddening!  Every man does it.  Curly told me she feels he is doing it on purpose to annoy her and it has caused more than a couple of arguments.

I explained to her that men see the big picture and it's not their fault.  All men know is that you look great and smell good.  They have no idea what colour your eyes are, what sweater you wore the first time you met or what kind of shoes you own.  They just cant focus on the details and really, truly cant see the big bag of chips right in front of them in the pantry.  Nor can they see their pants on the very top of the laundry pile.  Forgive them, they cant help it.  The Suburban Prince explains it in terms of the hunter/gatherers.  Men only really see moving objects (if the chips moved he would see them) while women can see small details.  Men make good hunters (by spotting and aiming at moving animals) and women make good gatherers as we can see the tiny details...the small twig that actually has a big edible root attached to it.  The next time your man cant find the ice cream...try to go easy on him.

The conversation meandered, as it does when women talk and Curly told me about how her husband is so methodical and patient and while she just doesnt have the time for doing things like putting up shelves she just asks her husband to do it and he trots off to measure, level, drill, hammer and the next time she comes in the room there is a shelf up where she asked him to put it.

I stopped her and said...

'Do you hear yourself?'

She had no idea what I meant.  I laughed and pointed out that she just has to look helpless and her husband will, without complaint, grumbling or giving her a hard time, take the shelf and put it up properly for her but yet she wont get up and point out the chips for him when he is incapable of finding them.

Curly:  $hit.  I never thought about it that way.


Have a fabulous day!

The fortune cookie knows best

Happy Friday!!!  Thank you to everyone who entered my Valentine's day giveaway!  We had over 100 entries!  The winner has been drawn.....Beth Dunn!  Congratulations!  Send me your mailing address and I will get your prize sent out right away!

I had lunch at the Thai restaurant with Hermes Scarf Friend a few weeks ago and we got to talking about the state of the relationship with her husband.  The jist of the conversaton was me suggesting she make an effort to make her husband happy.  Sometimes we need to put aside our own desires, love is putting someone else's happiness ahead of your own.  Imagine if we all went through life with the simple goal of making those around us happy? 

I told her about times I have done something I really didnt want to do but I knew it would make the Suburban Prince happy and in the end it made him more willing to do things I enjoy.  HSF's husband never goes to anything with her and they tend to lead fairly separate lives.  I suggested she include him more, factor in his desires and see what the result is.  Be the spouse she wishes she had. 

When we got the bill the waitress brought us fortune cookies....mine is the one on the top, HSF's is on the bottom.

People appreciate your leadership qualities.

Be content with your lot.  One cannot be first in everything

Have a fabulous day!