Friday, December 31, 2010

Goodbye 2010

It has come time to say goodbye to 2010.  It feels like the year that never was...where did it go?   I was looking through blog posts from the past year and realised things I thought happened in the summer actually happened in January and February - how strange is that!?  Why was I so apathetic about so much of it?  Just thinking about this Christmas I could've easily skipped over it and gone on with my life without regret...I am surprised at how many people I know feel the same way.  Most people I know didnt bother with presents, decorated out of obligation, and have opted to pack up their decor early.  Perhaps we squeezed all we could out of 2010 by Halloween and just needed to get on with new beginnings, fresh starts and the big plans we have for 2011.

It's not that I didnt enjoy 2010....it just seems like it was more a time of laying groundwork for bigger things.  It is the year I had my midlife crisis.  It shocks me but I spent a good chunk of the year trying to recapture 1985 and everything I felt, learned and cherished that year.  My ipod has been playing a lot of Phil Collins, Miami Vice, Van Halen and Def Leopard - I keep finding myself closing my eyes and I can almost transport myself to a high school dance or party.  I can conjure the way my locker smelled (a combination of Finesse and Wind Drift) and the way the cafeteria sounded every day at lunch time.  Suddenly, while writing this, I remembered my grade 9 crush.  I wont say his name here, I havnt seen him since and for all I know he has google alerts and will crawl out of the woodwork to shatter the memories - I prefer to keep him tucked away as a handsome teenage boy in jeans, topsiders and a rugby shirt rather than a 40-something, balding, out of shape, peaked-at-eighteen middle aged man who will no doubt be wearing short sleeved dress shirts.  I will remember him as the boy who, while knowing I had a gargantuan crush on him, stopped to make sure I was ok when he saw I was crying in a secluded hallway.  A simple kindness, but one that might've shaped my view of men from from then on.  Perhaps my husband owes him a beer.

2010 was the year of the most amazing Olympics I can remember!  Canada put on an awesome show and many incredible performances!  I've never been prouder to be a Canadian and we showed the world how it's done!

2010 was a year of perspective.  One friend was airlifted to the city while going through a heart attack and another lost her home to a fire.  I stopped more than a few times this year simply to count my blessings.  I told the Suburban Prince that a friend always says 'She's rich' when she is asked what I do for a living.  His response?  We are.  We are?  Huh?  Yes, we are rich.  We have our health, a roof over our heads, cars in the driveway, food in the fridge, electricity, running water, heat and the means to enjoy a nice life.  And, each other.  What more does anyone need to be defined as rich? 

Remember waiting for months for the new Sex and the City movie?  I had such high hopes and left the theatre feeling a bit let down.  Sure the parties and antics and outfits we fun, but isnt Charlotte's conversation with Miranda what we really walked away with?  Even when we get everything we want, life can be hard sometimes.  Children certainly show us what we are made of and who we really are.  Sometimes mommy just needs to get away and be her old self to be able to appreciate (and tollerate) what she has at home.  And that's ok.

2010 brought us the follow up to The Official Preppy Handbook and I know I was counting down the days leading up to it's release.  The silence was deafening.  Dare I say it?  True Prep wasnt all we hoped it would be?  It followed the format, stayed true to the ideals and certainly helped us through the fleece minefield!  But what was missing?  Lisa Birnbach told me she had no idea we were looking for an update....I told her we could've used some help through the 90's.  I dont know if we learned anything new but it certainly reinforced, for most of us, we were going in the right direction.  For those of us who weren't born American, to a legacy, near a country club or sailing school, we need the reassurance from the prep of all preps and for that, Lisa, I thank you.

In 2010 my blog went in every direction...maybe this year it will find it's place - much like my life.  I spent this year 'finding myself' but let's not get to deep, I like to find myself at cocktail parties and charity events.  I often wondered if I am writing a lifestyle blog - I write about my lifestyle so who knows.  Do I think I am writing a preppy blog?  It never occured to me to define my blog that way as I couldn't imagine writing only of preppy things.  My preppiness is a natural state so it's not like I think it is anything special.  Certainly not special enough for me to put thought and typing into it.  I just blog what I like, what I observe and what I think is funny.  Whatever my blog ends up being...please dont ever call it a 'mommy blog'...there are enough of those out there as it is!

For the first time in my life I actually considered being a party planner.  I dont know how I fell into this except that I have a small child who has birthdays and I have a big ego.  I have never done anything half way and dont like to be outdone by anyone.  Perhaps not my best character trait but without people who go over the top, the rest of us might not know the bar is set high and at least make an attempt to reach it.  I love throwing parties and with my blog I have had a chance to showcase what I do.  So many people are gracious enough to think (or at least say) I do a good job and the suggestion came up many, many times, 'You should be a party planner'.  Maybe 2011 is the year for this.  Maybe now I feel the time is right.  Maybe now it will all come together.  Maybe now I know what I will be when I grow up.

When one goes through a midlife crisis, one has to confirm their worth.  One needs to know the last 25 years meant something, that one learned something and in a sense, has cast a shadow.  As I entered the 40th year of my life I kept asking 'What have I accomplished?' and struggled to find the answer.  Im not a captain of industry, hadnt become famous, hadnt created anything, left my mark on anything, changed anyone's life or path and I certainly didn't feel I had done much but float through life, easy peasy, on a pink cloud, never really needing to put much effort into anything.  But 40 loomed.  Waiting.  Daring me to prove something.  Anything!  I started thinking my life over and realised I had learned an awful lot.  So many people had come and gone, so many places have been visited, relationships ended, loved ones died and through it all I listened to people...so many wise people, but I also listened to myself.  I dont consider myself a very deep person but somewhere inside I had something to say and it started pouring out, onto my keyboard and into the blogisphere.  I took the most important things I have learned over the last 25 years and turned them into a book.   A book!  While I was dancing through life, unbeknownst to me, a book was brewing.  It isnt a big book nor it is my last book, but it will always be...my first book.

While I was busy trying to perhaps define myself I was invited to join Rotary International and tagged along with a friend to a few meetings.  Smartest.Decision.This.Year.  Suddenly I was where I belong!  Surrounded by fun, ambitious, energetic people who are dedicated to bettering our community.  I suspect this is my big chance to make a name for myself in our little town.  To show them what I'm made of.  I see a step-and-repeat in my future!

In 2010 I met my dear friend High Heeled Life.  Who knew anyone near me would ever read my blog and find a connection!  From the moment we met we have been great friends and I am so grateful for that first email she sent me that started it all.  I know my life wouldnt be the same with her and MrG in it and I love knowing the Little Prince has an auntie and uncle who dote on him and have become a part of our family.  Without HHL my book would still be sitting on my laptop waiting for someone to believe in me and for that I will forever owe her a debt of gratitude.

I have always loved theatre and for some reason saw more shows this year than I have seen in the last 10 years.  I can only assume it is because when mommy finally got back into life and out in the world, I decided I was leaving no stone unturned, no cork unpopped and no show unseen!

The Little Prince found his voice.  At last.  After months of work, classes, an amazing school and the never ending efforts we put into him, he has surpassed the level expected of him and at his 3rd birthday will be tested for kindergarten.  A whole year early!  My heart overflows with pride everytime he runs down the hall yelling 'Mommy, mommy, mommy!!', a word I thought I would never hear.  I am brought to tears every time I think of how far he has come and know he is destined for greatness.  The love I have for this child is unfathomable, indefinable, overflowing, unending and every time he puts his hands on my face and comes in for a big sloppy kiss I am brought to a place of peace and I know where I belong.  At two and a half he can count to 100, spell his name, recite our phone number, name every animal we have ever shown him and repeats everything I say...the good, the bad and the not so pretty.  The best Christmas present was hearing him sing Frosty The Snowman.  I guess we both found our voices this year! 

2008 was the worst and hardest year of my life.
2009 was about picking up the pieces and survival.
2010 was about figuring it all out.

2011 is going to be epic.  Huge.  My year. 
It's the year I simplify, minimize and take everything I prepared for this year and make it happen. 

Happy New Year!


Have a fabulous day!

16 comments:

Lily Lemontree said...

Loved this fabulous post!
Hurrah for the little Prince!!!
I knew he would find his voice eventually, as we both know these little ones can surprise us at the drop of a hat and since he seems to have inherited his momma's smarts and moxie, I am sure he has plenty more delightful surprises in store for you!
Not that you need any wishes of luck for I know that all the wonderful things 2011 has destined for you will have been brought on by the determination and groundwork you have laid this year but I want to extend all my very best for you and your family for the New Year. You deserve it my dear friend!
xoxo

EntertainingMom said...

Lovely post!
My 2010 has been like your 2008-2010 all rolled into one. I am eager to say goodbye... bring on the new baby!

James said...

Happy New Year, looking forward to more of your adventures in 2011.

Pink Maple said...

Hope your 2011 is fabulous!

BroncoMom said...

Wow SP, this is a beautiful post. You have shared many personal trials with us before but nothing like this inward look.
Thank you.
Happy New Year.

A Preppy Princess said...

What a beautiful post. I found myself reflecting, rejoicing, and celebrating along with you while I was reading.

Here's to an epic 2011!

MCW said...

Happy New Years!

PS - When I was in MD I wore my mom's red Olympic mittens! Love them. So cute and warm!

Cool Gal said...

Happy New Year, Suburban Princess.

Wishing you and your family all the best in 2011! :)

flip flops and pearls said...

I pray that 2011 brings you many blessings!! Happy New Year! Much Love, Daphne

OceanDreams said...

What a wonderful reflection, I'm sorry 2008 and 2009 were tough, I would say this year for me was by far my hardest, and I'm ready to pick up the pieces in 2011. Happy New Year! Glad little prince is doing well.

Carol said...

Happy New Year.

Simply love your blog and can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for you. I'm guessing alot of fabulous things.

Carol :)

The Mrs. said...

What an incredible post! You have really made me think. I am working on a year in review post, a resolutions post etc. Loved the part about Finesse and Phil Collins. I love to think about high school crushes in the general sense. Everytime I think of Drakar Noir and Bennetton rugbys a nearly pee my pants. It was the best time! 40 is a hard year, a year of reckoning. Sounds like you really are ready for 2011 and all that is coming to you! Dying to know more about your book! Happy New Year!!! xoxox

The Doxie Diaries said...

Hey. . .in from Twitter. Realized I wasn't following your blog. Happy New Year! Hope it's the best yet!!

Lori
(Lmsbartow)

Ruth said...

I hope 2011 is a wonderful year for you.

Happy New Year!

Tish Jett said...

Happy, happy new year! Your first book, how wonderful, you must be so proud.

Obviously you know how to write.

Hope all your new dreams come true.

Warm regards,
Tish

melissa said...

Happy, Happy New Year .. wishing you health happiness and blessings galore in 2011!