Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Am I back in Junior High?

This post is subtitled:

"Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me without making me try?" ~Mika~



Have you ever come across someone you really wish you could be friends with but they just don't seem to notice you exist? I recently 'discovered' someone I truly admire and would love to spend time with. We have a lot in common, are around the same age, like the same things and so on. Unfortunately this person doesn't seem to have me on their radar.

I feel like I am in Junior High again trying to figure out how to make this person notice me and want to talk to me without looking obvious! We aren't in the same circle so suddenly reaching out to them would probably freak them out. It is so rare for me to meet someone I think would be an asset in my real life I find myself thinking about this person every day while trying to figure out how to make them think I am just as fabulous as they are! Yes I am just as fabulous as they are.

I never had this problem when I was single - snagging a man has never been as hard as making a new friend! If nothing else this experience is inspiring me to up my game and make myself even more attractive as a friend!

Have you been in my shoes? Did you get noticed? Or did you find a way to fit yourself into the life of someone you wanted to be friends with?



Have a fabulous day!

22 comments:

Christine said...

I love this! I totally have felt this way...but am too shy of a person to break out of my comfort zone and bring that person into my life...without looking like a creeper. Good Luck!

preppyinnewengland said...

I have felt this way sometimes, but trying so hard doesn't work. I value the friendships of many who want to be my friend because they recognized my qualities right away.
Perhaps in due time your paths will come together through other paths and a friendship will grow. I always like to think that good thiongs happen in time.

Confessions Of A Domestic Goddess said...

I've felt this way. Two years ago, I wanted to reconnect and befriend my brother's ex girlfriend. They'd been broken up for years and were friends themselves. We didn't run in the same social circles at all, but we lived in the same area. I'd just text her now and then and over time we started to hang out. Now, I'm no longer friends with the other girls we used to hang out with, but she's one of my closest friends now.

Don't fret, things can change over time.

xoxo!

Peterson Family said...

Yes, I have. But trying to force things never really works. When it is meant to happen, it will.

Cary Dale Taylor said...

I am going through the similar situation. I have mostly have the same core group of friends since high school, coming from a small town. Now at 27 I find myself looking for new friends and feeling vulnerable. It is kind of scary. I feel your pain.

Bonjour Madame said...

I've been there. I'm kind of shy at first and as a result, eternally awkward. :)

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

I've been in this place quite a few times. And I've spent years looking for & praying for a really great friend. And --- nothing!

When my wonderful EX died almost 3 yr ago, I learned a valuable lesson from him about surrounding myself with the positive. Then about 2 mon ago, I found this quote which sums it up so perfectly: "Don't make something or someone a priority who considers you an option!"

I've spent the last year testing the waters of who considers me an option. It's been a hard year and very sad at times; I've had to let friends go because I was the one who kept the relationship going! Very sad because I love some of these people! But at the same time, it's been liberating. And the wonderful thing is that because I'm now looking at other options for finding my "social joy", I'm beginning to meet a lot of really great, really interesting people.

So don't stress Princess. You are as wonderful as she is. If she doesn't notice it, move on and someone with better "sight" will come along.

Tails from the City said...

Suburban Princess,

I totally feel you-- its so hard to make girl-friends after college and out of the blue. I would make the first move and see what happens!

I've done this twice in the City and so far its (slowly) building...

Lipstick said...

I think this has happened to everyone at some point or another (in adulthood). Thank you for posting about it too. I love the above quote from Sandy about not making someone a priority who considers you an option...lots of wisdom in that one.

Sonja said...

I love that you posted this. I've been there before and I completely agree finding someone has always been easier than making new friends.

I often wonder the same thing though if people see me as hard to approach & reach out to and befriend?

I think maybe people get comfortable with their group of friends and think that that's all they need. They miss out on great friendships that way. I know I'm guilty of doing so.

From what I know in the blogging world, I think you'd be a great friend. :)

Blair said...

I stuck something in the mail for you yesterday..FINALLY! Sorry it took so long, I hope it gets to you soon!
Have a great day!

Henley on the Horn said...

Making couple friends can be even worse!!! I think you need to reach out to her... someone has to make the first move!!

Black Labs and Lilly said...

I find that I am always asking myself this question. It is just so hard, at least for me, to make friends now that I am out of a school environment. Good luck with this though!!

Suburban Princess said...

Thanks everyone! I have never really found it hard to make friends (Chatty Cathy here!) and I have lots of them - but it is just this one person I think would really be a great person to be around! It is easy enough to be introduced when you are connected through someone else but in this case there is no connection so if I 'make a move' it will seem to come out of nowhere and I so dont want to come off as creepy! What I am finding hard about making friends with this person is I have no way of even getting myself into their line of sight!

Princess Freckles said...

I've had this happen too. I'd get her number and text to see if she'd like to meet for coffee or a drink. Or you could also have a little party and invite her. great way to get to know people better!

Suburban Princess said...

Princess - I would if I could - but there is no connection there. It would seem like inviting a random stranger to my house. I have never really met this person, I just know of them like how people in a small town all know each other without knowing each other. I dont know one single person who knows them so I would have a reason to know them...does that make sense? If I had their cell number it would mean I know them and this wouldn't be an issue - not that it is really an issue! It has just taken me by surprise to 'know' someone who I think is pretty fabulous! Who knows maybe someday I will end up at the same party and they will be horrid in person!

Red Lipstick Style said...

I agree, it is hard to make friends. Maybe because a slight by a woman hurts more than having a guy say something because we can always write him off a a jerk?

Pink Martini said...

Do you know an organization she is involved in that you could join? This is done in business all the time, right? I am joining some organizations to make connections. It usually works. My husband is very outgoing but he also thinks Dale Carneige's book "How To Win Friends and Influence People" is the bible to connecting with people even though it is written in 1930's speak. Good luck! :)

Cairo Typ0 said...

I know exactly how you feel. *sigh* Jr High? Try my whole life. I've always wanted to be noticed, accepted and part of groups that will have nothing to do with me. I usually end up deciding they suck and take a Groucho Marx view on it, "I wouldn't want to be part of any club that would have me as a member."

Doesn't stop me from trying though. ***Hugs*** Be yourself cause from what i've seen here - that's a pretty cool chick! :)

Suburban Princess said...

Awww thanks everyone!

I dont feel bad about this person not noticing me I think it just took me by surprise because I'm not usually in these shoes!

Thanks for all of your advice and suggestions and lovely comments :O)

Misplaced Country Girl said...

Oh good luck! I'm shy so it's very hard for me to make friends. I really hope this works out and that the person realizes that you would make a fabulous friend!

Thanks for all of your sweet comments on my blog. They have meant a lot to me!

American in Norway said...

Ooooh ya! I have moved 15 times in my life... It wasn't so difficult when I was younger.. un married... but You limit yourself after you get married...not like I can run around with a bunch of guy friends like I did BEFORE I got married. I had a couple of "crushes" when I moved to Norway...women I thought I wanted to be friends with... While making my MASTER plan on how to be friends with them, I met other wonderful friends...
& by the way...CAIRO is part of a VERRRRY cool group here in Norway...I guess she is still in denial. (we met up with her this summer)