Advice for my 14 year old self....

Here is the complete list....

1. Women are powerful – it’s OK to use that power but don’t use it as a weapon
2. Pay in cash
3. Date a lot…a lot. You will need to get to know a lot of men before you really know the qualities you want and need in a man
4. Before you get married, find out if he would get up in the middle of the night with a crying baby or change a diaper
5. Learn a little bit about a lot of things
6. Travel. Travel alone at least once
7. Wait until after 30 to get married – just have lots of fun until then
8. Don’t take life so seriously
9. Don’t marry for love – don’t marry solely for love. There are so many other important things your marriage will need. Love is the icing on the cake
10. Its OK to have it all…its also OK to not want it all
11. If someone isn’t adding value to your life, let them go - fast
12. Be humble – in the end, no one has kept score
13. Social grace will always be more important than money
14. Date at least one ‘older man’
15. Be the kind of woman the kind of man you want, wants
16. Keep your passport up to date
17. Learn how to use a knife and fork properly – opportunities in your life might just hinge on your table manners
18. Talk to everyone, you just never know who you will meet and who they might know
19. If your way isn’t working, try another way. Don’t reject ideas even if they feel awkward
20. When deciding on a tattoo, ask yourself if this is something that might look trashy with your wedding dress
21. Don’t lose sight of what the argument is about – if you are yelling and can’t remember why, walk away
22. Put less stock in what other people think of you – no one cares or will remember you tooted in yoga class
23. Stand up straight – slouching makes you look defeated
24. When you see a mom struggling with a crying child and a cart full of groceries, offer to put the bags in her car while she tends to her child – you will be there someday and will appreciate help more than judgment
25. Take risks – as long as you don’t lose your life or a limb you will gain a lot
26. Don’t listen to people who tell you they are trying to stop you from making a mistake. Make the mistakes
27. Write thank you notes. By hand. With a pen.
28. Master the art of mingling
29. Club soda with lime looks just like a G&T and wont cause you to make an a$$ of yourself
30. Learn how to make 5 fabulous desserts – no one will remember what you served for dinner but they will remember dessert
31. Finish everything you want to do before the babies come
32. Get in front of the camera more often – even if it means losing 20lbs and wearing makeup more often
33. Read Men Are From Mars, Women are from Venus. Learn how to relate to men as men and don’t confuse them with your girlfriends
34. Take advice about men from men. Take advice about fashion from women willing to let you know you have something in your teeth – these women will tell you if something makes your a$$ look fat
35. Be the kind of spouse you want even if your spouse isn’t. Lead by example
36. Don’t be a hypocrite
37. Forget about being yourself. Be who you want to be (Thank you Julia Sugarbaker)
38. Eat veggies every day – antioxidants keep your skin looking young
39. Moisturize
40. Laugh lines are more attractive than Botox – so go ahead and laugh a lot
41. Consider the source – when reading about medical studies, find out who funded them
42. Go. You might meet someone
43. Read ‘The Rules’. Before you think it is old fashioned, keep in mind...men have not evolved very much in the last few thousand years
44. Carry a cotton handkerchief (Guys, carry two, one for you, one for her)
45. Give. Time, money, energy, love, affection....just give
46. Shoveling the steps and cleaning off the car IS romantic and chivalrous
47. Take the compliment with grace and say thank you. Too much modesty is boring
48. Say ‘Yes’ as much as possible
49. Tip the diner waitress generously…regardless, she WILL remember you the next time you come in
50. Learn how to tie a scarf and invest in your accessories. Inexpensive clothes can look great with the right accoutrement
51. Even if there is just the slightest chance you were wrong…say sorry – it will diffuse the situation
52. Spend less time looking for the right one and more time being the right one
53. Be grateful for every single thing. The good, the bad and the ugly. We get what we deserve and must be thankful for all of it
54. Get Vitamin D. Lots of it. It is the number 1 preventative measure you can take. See #41 before you disagree
55. Own a dog. Even on your darkest days you will have a reason to get out of bed and they will love you no matter what you think of yourself
56. Always keep your own identity. Don’t be just someone’s wife or someone’s mom. Have something in your life where you are only known by your own name, be it a job, volunteering, a sport or anything else not related to your family
57. Keep a LBD in your closet that fits, is clean and ready to wear at all times
58. Make eye contact with the cashier
59. Don’t be surprised if the guy who believes in modern gender roles (going Dutch etc) buys earplugs while you are up all night with a crying baby. Don’t feel the need to be his equal. You aren’t. He isn’t your equal either. See # 46
60. It is very hard to respect someone who doesn’t have respect for themselves
61. Be a great guest. RSVP, say thank you then host something yourself
62. If someone leaves you a message or sends an email it shows they thought enough of you to devote time to you. Think enough of them to return the call/email
63. Learn about the customs of the country you are going to visit and be respectful of them
64. Be passionate about everything you do from mopping the floor to running a company
65. If you go, it will come. Pack feminine hygiene products along with your bikini
66. Given the opportunity, use the ladies room
67. Learn how to start a fire, change a tire, paint a room, make a martini, hit a golf ball and roast a chicken
68. Peaking at 30 is a lot better than peaking at 18
69. Don’t hang on to friendships just because you have known each other since kindergarten
70. Know when to use ‘I’ and when to use ‘Me’ (if you don’t know, ask someone who does)
71. Celebrate everything. No one lies on their deathbed thinking, ‘I wish I had enjoyed myself less’
72. Floss
73. Stand up to bullies, especially when you are not the one being bullied
74. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want a potential boss to find photographic evidence of
75. Trust your instincts (Thanks Oprah!)

76. Change your language from 'They did that to me' to 'They did that'. Refuse to own someone else's bad behaviour.

 
 
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