How children learn their value

 

Sometimes images stick with us our whole lives.  I have kept this photo of Diana and her boys in my memory from the first time I saw it.  I believe they were in Canada at the time and Diana had spent the day away from her children.  Look at how happy she is to see them and how they are rushing to her.  I remember seeing the video of this moment on the news when I was a teenager and my subconscious tucked it away until the moment my own son would need his mommy to teach him what his value is.

Children learn value by how we look at them.  How we speak to them.  Whether we are happy to see them or not.  Look at those boys in this photo - do we think they feel their mother valued them?

I get very upset when I see children being spoken to like they are garbage and so often I want to say something to the parents, give them something to chew on, take home and mull over.  Make them see they are damaging these amazing little people who come into the world full of hope, blank slates we can mold to our own liking.  A kind word goes a long way.  But, we know WT doesn't often respond well to being told they might be less than perfect so I tend to keep quiet and smile at the children.  Hoping they see there is more out there for them.  

Toni Morrison summed it up when she told Oprah...

"When my children used to walk in the room, when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up, you think your affection and your deep love is on display because you're caring for them. It's not. When they see you, they see the critical face. But if you let your face speak what's in your heart...because when they walked in the room, I was glad to see them. It's just as small as that, you see."

My in-laws were babysitting a few months ago and they brought stickers and coloured paper for the Little Prince to play with.  When we came home my mother-in-law told me one of the stickers is a happy face and the Little Prince kept saying 'That's mommy!'.  She said she was impressed he associates a happy face with his mommy when most children would think their mommies are always unhappy, critical, grumpy.  I make a conscious effort to smile and look happy when the Little Prince walks in the room, comes to me with a drawing, asks a question or any other little thing he does four. thousand. times a day, no matter how I am feeling, what I am thinking or what he might be interrupting.  Because of the picture of Diana.  I wish my mother had ever looked so happy to see me.  I wish I had ever felt the love oozing out of this photo.  I make sure my son feels that every single day

The Little Prince has taken to throwing his arms around my legs exclaiming, 'I love my mommy!!!'.

I consider that the best performance review I have ever had.

Have a fabulous day!